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Movies that I want to see: Master of the Flying Guillotine
The storyline is fairly routine as these films go but this Taiwanese production rises above the vast majority of its contemporaries, thanks to first rate choreography by Lau Kar-leung and Lau Kar-wing (who also appears as a tournament contestant utilizing the three section staff) and a number of unusual, enjoyable touches. In addition to the thrills offered by The Blood Dripper (which may have some basis in historical fact and is manipulated here in a much smoother and more lethal looking manner than in the previous year's picture), the Indian fighter can extend his arms about a yard out in front of him (like The Fantastic Four’s Reed Richards!) and Fung Sheng can spin his head around 360 degrees, a la Linda Blair in THE EXORCIST. There are also a number of clever touches presented within the fights. The Thai killer does not wear shoes, so The Boxer lures him into a shack with a metal floor. The other Ming loyalists build a fire around the place and prevent the Thai from escaping the building, forcing him to try and fight while his feet are getting scorched. The Boxer's final battle against Fung Sheng unfolds in a coffin maker's shop that Wang's character has fitted with some ingenious booby traps (spring loaded hatchets fly out of coffins the Manchu assassin's weapon accidentally causes to open). While kung fu films from this period often "borrowed" music from Hollywood or European features (with Spaghetti Westerns a popular source) MASTER is unique in that it is scored largely with early German electronica. The main title is from NEU! 2, while the cue heard whenever Fung Sheng makes his appearance is actually another track from the same album called Super 16. There are also cues from Tangerine Dream and Kraftwerk albums that I am unable to identify but there is certainly no mistaking them for anything else. This offbeat accompaniment perfectly suits the action and adds considerably to the entertainment value of this much beloved, highly repeatable movie.
More in link.
Next time I'm drunk, I think that I shall resist the urge to blog
Tell me about your Christmas loot
Why Blankets speaks to me
Raina: Why do you love me, Craig?
Craig: 'Cuz I do.
Raina:Well, I love you too. But. But--what's that supposed to mean? Where will it lead us?
Craig: Does it matter?
Raine: YES! It matters. It's not just the moment. In a few days you're leaving--I mean, I barely know you.
Craig: So that's...I mean... That's EXCITING. WE've so much to discover.
Raina: I guess what I'm trying to say is that everything ENDS. No, "end" is too graceful a word--everything DEGENERATES--CRUMBLES--So why bother getting started in the first place?
Craig: ... I don't know.
Merry Christmas, everyone!
Find Those Weapons:the Hunt for the Real WMD
HOW THE HUNT WORKS
1. You order the treasure hunt
2. You get a CD, a clue book, a matrix, and a map of iraq in the mail
3. You begin solving all the clues using the matrix, map, and CD
4. It will lead you to a place where you can get a certain item
5. That item will be exchanged for the real $5000 golden trophy, a bag of cash, and a barrel of oil. (If you don’t want the barrel of oil, we will send it to George Bush
More in link.
We're watching Bad Santa on Tuesday
Anyone that wants to go is welcome. Mike's gonna be there as well as I and possibly the Canadian and Chinese members of Team China.
Saddam held by Kurds, drugged and left for US troops: report
Saddam Hussein was captured by US troops only after he had been taken prisoner by Kurdish forces, drugged and abandoned ready for American soldiers to recover him, a British tabloid newspaper has reported.
Saddam came into the hands of the Kurdish Patriotic Front after being betrayed to the group by a member of the al-Jabour tribe, whose daughter had been raped by Saddam's son Uday, leading to a blood feud, reported the Sunday Express, which quoted an unnamed senior British military intelligence officer.
The newspaper said the full story of events leading up to the ousted Iraqi president's capture on December 13 near his hometown of Tikrit in northern Iraq, "exposes the version peddled by American spin doctors as incomplete".
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Hello! My name is Lambuel and I hope that we can be friends. I would like to share with you my love for Jesus. Did you know that Jesus loves each and every one of us? It's true! In the Bible, He says: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life"... Isn't that COOL?!
My OBJECTIVE is JUST 4 KIDZ! The "z" is for "zealousness," 'cause Jesus wants us to be hot for Him, not lukewarm. I read in the Bible that He said: "As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent"... Let's do that!
More in link.
Are there ghostly goings-on at Henry VIII's palace, or is that hazy image of a fellow in fancy robes just a bit of Christmas cheer?
Closed-circuit security cameras at Hampton Court Palace, the huge Tudor pile outside London, seem to have snagged an ethereal visitor. Could it be a ghost?
"We're baffled too. It's not a joke. We haven't manufactured it," Vikki Wood, a Hampton Court spokeswoman said when asked if the photo the palace released was a Christmas hoax. "We genuinely don't know who it is or what it is."
Wood said security guards had seen the figure in closed-circuit television footage after checking it to see who kept leaving open one of the palace's fire doors.
In the still photograph, the figure of a man in a robe-like garment is shown stepping from the shadowy doorway, one arm reaching out for the door handle.
More in link. Thanks to Mike for sending this my way.
The Animated Batman: an Unofficial site
If you're like me, you probably have mad love for the Batman animated series from the early nineties (yeah, I know, it's hard to believe that the show is now over ten years old). Like Smallpox, the love for Batman the Animated Series is incredibly infectiously, and thankfully some people deem it worthy of study. Jay Allman, the host of the site has jam packed it with critical essays on the show. Whether it deals with re-occuring themes or how it fits into the large wasteland of pop culture, it's well worth reading.
Tell Rob what you thought of the Lord of the Rings: the Return of the King
Fluevog shoes: the only Satan resistant shoe on the market
Chow down: come on in, The water's fine and Style's no sin. "Fluevog" - some just can't pronounce it; Others, hooked, could not renounce it. Misspell it any way you would: "Fluvog" or Flueflog"*, it's all good. For quality, they can't be beat - and scorn their style? Well, they're your feet. In Vog we trust, all others scram, We are the cure for Fashion Spam, Designer footwear nonpareil, Champion of independent style, And even Open Source Footwear - John's influence is everywhere. Your Fluevogs cast Angelic love (on Earth, dude, as it is Above). Wear boring shoes? No 'Voggin' way! So, Don't Delay - Fluevog Today
More in link. Thanks to my brother Christopher, who also keeps track of the weird.
Manifest Destiny
Manifest Destiny -- a phrase used by leaders and politicians in the 1840s to explain continental expansion by the United States -- revitalized a sense of "mission" or national destiny for Americans.
The people of the United States felt it was their mission to extend the "boundaries of freedom" to others by imparting their idealism and belief in democratic institutions to those who were capable of self-government. It excluded those people who were perceived as being incapable of self-government, such as Native American people and those of non-European origin.
But there were other forces and political agendas at work as well. As the population of the original 13 Colonies grew and the U.S. economy developed, the desire and attempts to expand into new land increased. For many colonists, land represented potential income, wealth, self-sufficiency and freedom. Expansion into the western frontiers offered opportunities for self-advancement.
To understand Manifest Destiny, it's important to understand the United States' need and desire to expand. The following points illustrate some of the economic, social and political pressures promoting U.S. expansion
More in link.
First they came for the vibrators...
A Texas housewife is in big trouble with the law for selling a vibrator to a pair of undercover cops, and the Brisbane vibrator company she works for says Texas is an "antiquated place'' with more than its share of "prudes.''
Joanne Webb, a former fifth-grade teacher and mother of three, was in a county court in Cleburne, Texas, on Monday to answer obscenity charges for selling the vibrator to undercover narcotics officers posing as a dysfunctional married couple in search of a sex aid.
Webb, a saleswoman for Passion Parties of Brisbane, faces a year in jail and a $4,000 fine if convicted.
"What I did was not obscene,'' Webb said. ""What's obscene is that the government is taking action about what we do in our bedrooms.''
More in link.
Thanks to David for the link.
Ladies and gentlmen, Wesley Clark, democratic presidential candidate.
Movies that I want to see: Santa Claus
Everyone knows Santa Claus is a holiday hero, but who knew he could hold his own against the forces of Hell itself? A cinematic testament to Santa's innate goodness (and oft-overlooked toughness), the Mexican film Santa Claus pits "the best friend of boys and girls everywhere" against a devil described as one of the Dark Prince's cleverest disciples
More in link.
Prosecute George W. Bush
for War Crimes
We, the undersigned, believe George W. Bush should be prosecuted for the following war crimes:
1. George W. Bush ordered a War of Aggression against Iraq. This constitutes a Crime Against Peace - for which Nazi leaders were prosecuted at the Nuremberg Trials - and violates the UN Charter.
-Iraq never attacked the US or threatened an attack, so the US is not acting legally in self-defense, which is permitted under the UN Charter.
-Iraq played no role in the September 11, 2001 attack on the US and never provided material support to any terrorist group that attacked the US, so even the non-legal Bush doctrine of pre-emptive attack does not apply.
-At the time of the US attack, Iraq was nearing full compliance with UN Resolution 1441 and prior resolutions requiring disarmament, and the majority of the Security Council believed UN inspectors should be given more time, so the US is not enforcing UN resolutions, as it claims.
-George W. Bush ordered the invasion of Iraq in order to bring about a regime change, which was never authorized by a UN resolution, and violates the UN Charter.
More in link.
The Funniest article that I've read all day: Vice's Touching People: Our Top 10 Outsiders Videos
What I Really Want
This is the winner. It was parodied in the Mr. Show movie Run Ronnie Run and Beck couldn’t resist putting it in a recent video. This way-too-short informative clip (you want it to go on for days) features a typical Marin County self-help group talking about actualizing your dreams. The story goes that, halfway into filming, the leader of this bizarre yuppie cult decided “everything has to be destroyed – RIGHT NOW!” The filmmakers managed to salvage this 15 minutes before the rest was lost forever.
HIGHLIGHT: A man rests on his knees and, after being encouraged to say what he feels no matter how much it hurts, bursts into sobs and screams, “I want to touch people. I want people to TOUCH ME!!!!”
More in link.
My chest hurts from laughing too much.
If you build it, they will come
This is how people have stumbled upon my page this week.
-Frithjof Schwesig and porn film
-artbomb artblog
-viewtiful joe review blog
-Bladder Vee-String Female Vagina Prosthesis
- vee-string
- vee string vagina
- japanese site:blogspot.com
- Soccer Poster Vagina
- japanese goldar
I want to know who's looking up "soccer poster vagina". My tiny brain doesn't understand.
Weapons Inspector Haunts Bush in British Satire
It is polling day in the United States and George W. Bush has gathered together his friends and family at the White House to celebrate his imminent re-election.
But the party is gate-crashed by a sinister U.N. weapons inspector, just back from 18 fruitless months wandering Iraq in search of weapons of mass destruction (WMDs).
He has a devastating report to deliver to the U.S. Congress and a few tough questions to ask Bush and his friends.
That, in short, is the plot of a new play by director Justin Butcher, whose first political farce, "The Madness of George Dubya," took London's theaterland by storm a year ago when it was staged during the build-up to the Iraq war.
"A Weapons Inspector Calls" is a similar offering -- "slapstick, vulgar, brash entertainment," according to Butcher.
More in link.
So, what do you all think of the new blog look?
I'm trying for the "Game of Death" colours from Bruce Lee's track suit, but I can't manage to get a black line to divide my tables on the left and the content on the right to appear. Anyone with mad HTML skillz want to give me a hand?
Saddam Hussein, the deposed Iraqi leader, was captured in a raid on a farm house near Tikrit on Saturday night, American military officials confirmed Sunday.
The officials said they had used DNA tests to confirm his identity.
"We got him," American administrator L. Paul Bremer III said at a news conference here.
Coalition troops discovered Hussein hiding in a hole below the farm house, located in the town of Adwar, 10 miles from Tikrit.
Military officials said that Hussein had put up no resistance and that not one shot had been fired in the operation.
More in link.
Mad props to my buddy Stephen
Thanks for indulging me on the last minute. My horrible butchering of the language non-withstanding, she was impressed by the fact that I knew a little Cantonese.
I have a case of the virulant flu
For the last three days I've woken up to sore joints, a sore throat and a killer headache. I don't seem to be getting any better. In other news, the USA is out of flu vaccine.
The poster on the left is the poster for Kini Fukasuku's Battles Without Honor or Humanity. The one on the right is a poster for Hishakaku: Honor Among Wolves. You can see more yakuza-eiga posters here.
Whistle with me, my friends.
Meme watch: Killographic
A public interest group had a holiday warning and a new word on Monday for parents of video game users: Beware of "killographic," defined as the "graphic depiction of brutal violence."
The National Institute on Media and the Family, an independent, nonprofit group, said "killographic" scenes are featured in a number of video games within reach of children.
Issuing its eighth annual MediaWise Video Game Report Card, the institute listed games parents should avoid for their children, led by "Manhunt."
"If pornographic is the 'graphic depiction of sex,' then killographic should enter our vocabulary to describe the 'graphic depiction of brutal violence,"' David Walsh, the institute's president, told a Capitol Hill news conference.
"Clever phrase," Doug Lowenstein, head of the Entertainment Software Association, which represents computer and video game software publishers, replied when asked about "killographic."
More in link. I expect to see this on your group in the near future, Stephen.
Detention at the Dumpster: a Saved by the Bell/ Power Rangers fanfic by Duke Brown
"AHHH! After ten thousand years, I am free!" cried a shrill voice. It belonged to a strange-looking Asian lady with white hair. She climbed out of the dumpster, followed by an assortment of monsters. A winged humanoid with canine and simian features led the monsters, followed by a fat goofy blue one, a skinny six-armed furry one, a younger Asian female in gold armor, an elfish creature, and some clayish creatures.
Slater looked at the new arrivals. "Harmless, huh?"
The white-haired lady spoke. "I am Rita Repulsa, Empress of Evil!" She pointed ho her companions. "And these are my minions: The MonkeyDog guy with wings is Goldar! The golden woman is Scorpina! That fat one is Squatt! The skinny one is Baboo! And the elf is Finster! And those drones are my Putties! Now that I have introduced ourselves, it is time to conquer Earth!"
"Now just a minute Miss Repulsa!" The all-too-purebread Belding shouted. "You just cannot come in and take over the Earth!"
"Watch me, Balding!" Rita snickered as she and her goons disappeared.
More in link. Props to my buddy Stephen for finding this. Solid gold!
How I have made a difference in the world
Thanks to me, everyone I know know whistles the "Twisted Nerve". All the fucking time.
The Flaming Lips: Do You Realize
Last year, dealing with a bag full of shit concerning failing relationships and a life that I wasn’t happy with, I went for an incredibly long drive to find some joy.. It was fall and the leaves were spray painted with the colours of the sunset and the van made them trail behind me like coat tails. It was Thanksgiving weekend, but I had nothing to be thankful for that day. Since I was far beyond what I would call home, I combed the radio waves like a veterinarian might a dog. It was a Saturday afternoon, so I decided that my best bet would be cbc’s program, Definitely Not the Opera. My ears only were half listening to Sook Yin Lee talking about what she was thankful for, but they stood at full attention when she played “Do You Realize” by the Flaming Lips. At that moment, driving down a dead-end street in slow motion, I finally understood the song, and all that it meant. I read later on that the song was a simple way about telling about the deeper truths in life. It’s true. ”Do you realize that life goes fast/it’s hard to make the good things last”
It's so true, and I think that many people take it for granted.
Bladder Vee-String Female Vagina Prosthesis
The Bladder Vee-String Female Vagina Prosthesis™ is designed to fulfill the feminine illusion. Your penis is placed into a hole in the bladder, which holds you in place. The bladder does not hold liquid, but allows for an even flow. This allows urination in a sitting position as a female without removal or adjustment. The Bladder Vee-String Female Vagina Prosthesis™ is made of pure liquid latex rubber which is hand brushed into a mold with up to twelve coats for each of the custom made products. There are three to four different colors of tinted latex in each product. The hair is sewn on by hand and adhered to the back with liquid latex. This product is $164.95 plus shipping and handling
More in link.
How people are finding me
I've been checking my stat report for the last couple of days from Blogpatrol and that people have found my website using the following searches:
chichiren
fog n suds mission
macleans trailer park boys03/12/2003 04:27:37 gaming perverts (Yahoo)
Japanese crime fighting perverts (that was me!)
Macleans Trailer Park Boys
jetstream blog-spot
Vicar gives out porn films
A German vicar inadvertently supplied his parish with dozens of hard core porn films in an unsuccessful bid to teach people about the life of Christ.
Frithjof Schwesig, vicar in the southwestern town of Lampoldshausen, had ordered 300 copies of a video film portraying the life of Christ as told by the gospel according to Luke.
"In a first batch 20 to 30 videos were distributed and we immediately got a reaction from five to seven people saying we must have given them the wrong film," he said.
"It was a real porn film. Within an hour our staff had collected all the videos. Really, all were withdrawn."
More in link.
Beer and Nachos at Fog ‘N’ Suds this Saturday night at 9:00
I’ll be there with Team China and I’ll my hardest to get Norman to come. Everyone that can make it is invited. I know a couple of you may be working, so drop me a line so I know when/if to expect you.
Plugging for my friends: Gamers Against Censorship Group
My buddy Stephen has set up a discussion group to discus video game censorship. In his own words
This is a group made by gamers and for the gamers. We are here to show and educate the world about the myths and problems of games that organizations and other groups want to censor.
If anti-video game groups are united, then so are we. We shall criticize their fallacies and yet work with them on their positive points. It's about time we should be together as one voice and not just some simple blurb on the 9-o-clock TV News.
If you're a gamer and want to be an activist, check out the site and sign up.
Schwarzenegger says he has no backup plan if bond deal fails
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't have a backup plan if the Legislature or voters reject his propsal to sell $15 billion worth of bonds to pay off the state's existing deficit.
"Failure is no option. It just doesn't exist," the Republican governor said Monday. Without a backup, he said, "That means it has to happen."
More in link.
Holy fuck. No backup plan? I'm glad I'm not a Californian.
Brian Michael Bendis on Family Matters: my dream
My my dream, Brain Michael Bendis (the writer of Alias and Powers, for you non-comic geeks) had been a stff writer on the sitcom Family Matters. He revealed that before the show was canceled that he had single handledly wrote the plots for most of the defunct season. He alluded that during the now final season that many of the plot twists had been foreshadowed. This is a list of what he had constructed for the "missing season"
-Steve would lose his virginity to a mystery woman and become a sex addict.
-Carl would be responsible for a lynching while on an undercover investigation
-Steve discovers a magical bus stop. Who ever controls this bus stop can control the flow of mass transit in New York. A gang war breaks out for the control of the bus stop.
-Steve develops another alter-ego, this one a homeless white man to be played by Michael Jackson.
Segways enlisted as battle robots
It’s called the Segway Human Transporter, but the Pentagon is drafting the two-wheeled scooter as part of a plan to develop battlefield robots that think on their own and communicate with troops.
THE PROGRAM is still in the research phase, so the self-balancing scooters aren’t expected to report to boot camp anytime soon.
So far, university researchers armed with Pentagon funding have programmed Segway robots that can open doors, avoid obstacles, and chase soccer balls — all without human control.
Researchers say potential applications for the robots include performing search missions on the battlefield, transporting injured soldiers to safety, or following humans around while hauling their gear.
Dean Kamen, the Segway’s inventor, told The Associated Press he had no qualms about enlisting his brainchild into the military.
“You build a car and it can either be used as an ambulance, or it can drive your troops around,” he said. “My personal reason for liking (this program) is we would love to get more Segways at universities. The more we have our technology among the tech world, particularly the young geeks, it could only help us.”
More in link.
New Grant Morrison interview is up
THE PULSE: You said you view some of the world's greatest religions like sci-fi. Howso? Or is it just some religions that are like sci-fi?
MORRISON: Imagine a new technology which allowed ideas to be somehow grasped from the air, transformed into symbols and recorded on stone or papyrus. When gazed upon by an educated person, these images would then transform themselves magically into consistent sounds in the head.
We're so familiar with written language that we sometimes forget how outlandish a concept it must have seemed to our ancestors. Writing allowed people to copy and transfer their thoughts and their tribal codes of conduct to others, even unto generations they themselves would not live to personally instruct, affect or control. The words themselves must have seemed alive and immortal and as "holy" as ghosts. Written law was thus a way of mastering time and influencing the future, a weapon greater than fire and steel, I hope you'll agree. When read, the written word made the head buzz and ring and fill up with voices and commands from nowhere, as if God Himself had come thundering down through the symbols, off the page and into the room, fertilising and impregnating the mind with his Ghostly, unmistakable presence.
So God(ie Yahweh, Jehovah, Allah) always watching us, always judging, is, I believe, a living concept which emerged along with the early development of alphabets, to prey on developing human minds. IN return for providing a lush spawning ground, the "God" meme rewards the human mind with simple satisfying but ultimately incomplete explanations regarding its place in a complex and frightening universe. What the three "Religions of the Book" call "God," I call a virulent and hard-to-kill memetic structure finding its perfect technological carrier medium at a critical time in the history of humanity.
The wholly masculine "God" of the great monoreligions is a personification of written law and its strange effect on our brains. "He" is the cop in the head who constantly checks our behavior to ensure that we don't step too far beyond the limits our culture has established and expected us to internalise. "He" demands obedience and the performance of irrational rituals in "His" name. We've got so used to that hectoring critical voice in our heads and have so many new explanations for it that most of us don't call it "God" anymore and churches are emptying.
More in link.
artblog
When my friends Stephen and Mike didn't have lives, they'd occationally work on Moon Karma Zero a collaborative blog that was supposed to be like Grammarporn. Much like Grammarporn at the moment, it's not often updated, but when it is, it's usally good stuff.
One of my favorite things that they did was list their favourite artists of the day. Be it musician or comic artist, they'd all get a shake of our bandwidth. It's been far too long since they've done it.
For those of you, like me, that enjoys comic creation, I suggest that you check out Artbomb's artblog. Just think of artblog as a succulent pig whose orifaces have been filled with new and exciting comic art and ideas. Check it out and get your fix.
A 6 page preview of Blankets, for those who haven't had the pleasure
I've lived those moments, illustrated there. I can't wait to pick this up.
